Reporting Live From the Shallow End of the Real World

(Stunned by the blinding light, the Jennifer squints her eyes, finally emerging from the rock under which she had been hiding. She stretches her arms, yawns deeply, and then makes a feeble attempt to communicate with the outside world...)

Oh, hi there! Hope I didn't keep you too long while I was finishing up my hibernation. It sure is a lot of work being unemployed. So where were we...oh yeah, the Lost Generation 2.0 Report! Let me just - wait, we're on air? Already? Is this thing even turned on?

Testing, 1, 2, testing.

Okay, I think we're good.

...annnnd ACTION:

Good evening, fellow Americans.

This is Jennifer, reporting from the front lines on Atlanta's Jobless Graduates Phenomenon.

To ensure the accuracy of your information, I have entrenched myself into the [non]working class by taking up residence in the only location willing to harbor those unable to pay rent: my sister's apartment.

Over the course of these next few weeks, months, years, or however long I'm actually able to keep up with this, I'll bring you all the latest on my post-graduate developments here in the metropolitan area. Be sure to tune as I cover many relevant and informative issues, such as:

• The vast array of career opportunities available to history majors (i.e. Beer Wench at the Renaissance Festival)
• Interesting new job openings, followed by an open table analysis of why I am "over-qualified" for them
• More interesting new job openings, followed by an open table analysis of why I am "under-qualified" for them
• Hollow excuses for not submitting my resume (including "but if I want the typeface proportions to match up with the Golden Ratio I have to wait for the newest version of InDesign to become available for upgrade!")
• Documented cases of existential breakdowns and empty musings over "Who Am I, Really?"
• Crafty Corner: fun and creative ways to fend off post-grad bordem while littering the living room with little scraps of paper too small to be picked up by the vacuum cleaner
• and many, many more!

So before I sign off for the evening, I'll leave you with one handy hint for avoiding grad school while also putting off a real career: do what I'm doing and get your graphic design certification at an accredited Center for Lifelong Learning Institution!* You get all the benefits of grad school (developing new skills, having some vague notion of a purpose, guaranteed social interaction with other human beings, etc.) without having to devote every waking hour of yet another four years studying something you aren't even sure you want to use in the "real world."

*Seriously. It's pretty great. I mean, ultimately I'm trying to find some kind of creative, fulfilling line of work in another city right now, but having interesting and sporadically scheduled classes until then really does make my "figuring things out time" feel a LOT more productive and bearable...

Well thanks for having me on the show, folks!

Until next time, have a lovely evening, and just remember:

Don't quit your day job!*

*[insert goober wink here to acknowledge my awareness of how lame that last comment was]